You're Leaving Thousands On The Table By Not Negotiating Your Salary

You may be great at negotiating with your stakeholders, but when the topic is about money and specifically your salary, things suddenly change. Here's what you can do instead.

For some, negotiating salary can feel like walking into the meeting of your life yet unprepared. Your palms sweat, your mind races, and you wonder, “What if they say no?”

But here’s the truth:

👉 Negotiating your compensation isn’t just about money—it’s about valuing your worth and shaping your career trajectory.

Whether you’re a software engineer, product manager, or CTO, mastering this skill can mean the difference between stagnation and growth.

If you haven't negotiated your salary for years, why?

A) I needed the job fast
B) I don’t want to seem greedy
C) I wasn’t aware of the average salary for my role
D) I assumed my employer would offer a competitive salary without prompting
E) I felt uncomfortable discussing money in a professional setting
F) I didn’t know how to approach the conversation
G) Talking about money is disgusting

Pick your poison. 🏴‍☠️

For years, I avoided salary discussions like a poorly documented API. I assumed my work would speak for itself, only to watch peers with similar roles outpace me financially.

I realized that silence costs more than awkward conversations.

In this guide, let’s dismantle myths around salary negotiations, tackle the unique challenges women face, and equip you with frameworks to advocate confidently!👇

Salary Negotiation Isn’t Optional in Tech

The Compounding Power of “Yes”

Every non-negotiated offer leaves thousands—or millions—on the table over a career. That’s just crazy!

A 10% difference in starting salary at a $150k role grows to $1.5M+ in lost earnings over 30 years with compounding raises and promotions. Tech’s rapid evolution means your skills are constantly gaining value, yet most companies won’t proactively adjust pay to match.

It’s Not Greed—It’s Market Alignment

Tech salaries vary wildly by company size, location, and specialization. A senior engineer at a startup might earn $180k, while FAANG counterparts clear $400k+ in total compensation. Negotiation bridges this gap by aligning your pay with industry benchmarks, not internal budget constraints.

Negotiation Signals Leadership 🚀

Promotions favor those who advocate strategically. When you negotiate, you demonstrate:

• Business acumen (understanding your role’s revenue impact)

• Data-driven decision-making (leveraging market research)

• Stakeholder management (balancing firmness and collaboration).

Preparing Your Negotiation Playbook

Step 1: Benchmark Your Value

Tools:

• Levels.fyi for tech-specific compensation data

• Payscale/Glassdoor for role averages

• Salary.com to compare job salary between countries and cities

Pro Tip: Calculate your “compa ratio” (current salary ÷ market median). Companies often cap raises at 20% above this number unless you demonstrate exceptional value.

To know more about this calculation visit Barley.io.

Step 2: Document Your Impact

Create a “brag doc” starting with:

• Revenue metrics (e.g., “Optimized checkout flow, boosting conversions by 22%”)

• Cross-functional wins (e.g., “Led DevOps transition, reducing deployment errors by 40%”)

• Stakeholder feedback (quote testimonials from peers/clients).

But don't limit yourself to metrics. There is more you may have accomplished that you don't even take into account, consider evaluating yourself in these key areas:

1. Customer Impact: How well do you understand and solve customer problems?

2. Product Execution: What's the quality and impact of what you ship?

3. Business Impact: How does your work tie to business outcomes?

4. Team Impact: How do you make your team better?

5. Organizational Impact: What's your influence beyond your immediate team?

More tips in this guide. 👇

The Gender Negotiation Gap

Why Women Face Greater Obstacles 👩🏻‍💼

1. Socialized Avoidance: Studies show women are 30% less likely to negotiate salaries, often fearing backlash.“Women accept initial offers 60% of the time vs. 10% for men”.

2. Information Asymmetry: Men are 40% more likely to discuss salaries with peers, gaining critical market data. 📈

3. Tone Traps: Assertiveness praised in men is often penalized in women as “aggressive”.

💡 Pro Tip: Negotiation is as much about your mindset as it is about strategy.

Cultivating a growth mindset 🪴 can change how you perceive negotiation itself—from a confrontation to a collaborative dialogue. Remember, it’s not just about getting more money; it’s about communicating your value and ensuring that your compensation reflects your contributions.

Salary is just one lever. Tech roles often include:

• Equity/RSUs (critical in startups/pre-IPO companies)

• Signing/retention bonuses

• Remote flexibility (valued at $10k–$50k annually)

• Professional development budgets.

Strategies for Women in Tech 👩🏼‍💻

• Leverage Nonviolent Communication (NVC):

“I’ve achieved [X metrics], which align with our Q3 revenue goals. Based on market data, a 15% adjustment would reflect this impact. How can we align here?”

Here’s a post that I write some time ago about the NVC framework. 👇

• Anchor High, Justify Objectively:

Present a range 10–20% above target, citing specific comparable (e.g., “Levels.fyi shows $220k median for this role”).

• Convert Praise to Leverage:

Next time a manager says “Great job on the migration!”, reply: “Thank you! I’d love to discuss how this success translates into compensation growth.”

👩🏻‍💼 Personal Story:

Before closing last year, I told my manager on a call that I was getting more involved in our client’s critical product decisions and the buy-in from stakeholders.

As he immediately responded, “That's exactly what we need! This is something your colleagues don't even do and you have more experience compared to them.”

My heart skipped a beat, but I kept my composure and replied, “Well, that's also something I wanted to review with you, because my current salary does not reflect my seniority, and I’m looking for a compensation next year.”

Did I say it right, could I have said it better? Honestly, I may never know. 🤷‍♀️ All I know is that my raise has been approved after my performance review last month. I can say it's worth a shot.

Negotiation Frameworks That Work

The BATNA Principle

Always define your Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement (e.g., competing offers, freelance rates). Sharing (tactfully!) creates urgency:

“I’m committed here, but I’ve received an offer at $X. I’d prefer to stay if we can bridge the gap.”

The “Collaborative Problem-Solving” Script

1. Acknowledge Constraints: “I understand budget cycles are tight…”

2. Present Data: “…but my contributions to [Project Y] exceeded targets by 30%.”

3. Solution-Focused Ask: “Can we explore a 10% raise now, with a 5% performance-based bump post-Q4?”.

Handling Common Objections

• “We don’t have budget.”

“I appreciate that. Could we revisit this in 3 months with specific metrics to trigger an adjustment?”

• “You’re already at the top of your band.”

“I’ve taken on [new responsibilities] since my last review. Could we review my band alignment?”.

In this post I share insightful tips, from when is the right time to how to sell yourself and more tips. 👇

How To Ask For A Raise Without Failing In The Process

Wrapping Up

Negotiating your salary isn't just about securing a higher paycheck; it's about valuing your contributions and setting the stage for long-term career success. Whether you're a tech leader or product manager, mastering this skill can mean the difference between stagnation and growth.

Courage Is a Muscle—Start Flexing It 💪

Negotiation might initially feel uncomfortable, like stepping into the gym after months of inactivity. But just like physical fitness, building your negotiation skills takes practice and persistence. The more you engage in these conversations, the easier they will become.

Start small. Practice your pitch with a trusted friend or mentor before approaching your boss. Role-playing can help you find your voice, refine your message, and boost your confidence. Remember: you’re not simply asking for more money; you’re advocating for your worth.

Your Action Plan For Today

1. Start Small: Practice with a low-stakes ask (e.g., conference budget).

2. Role-Play: Use ChatGPT or Perplexity to simulate tough conversations. I personally love to do this. For example, there’s 3 things I often try to simulate:

   1. I give AI my speech and ask to find flaws in what I say and,

   2. also to check if the tone is appropriate to the purpose of the conversation,

   3. Finally, I ask about situations in which I receive a NO and how to respond/react to them.

3. Celebrate Wins: Even a “no” today builds resilience for tomorrow.

"In Business As In Life, You Don't Get What You Deserve, You Get What You Negotiate". —Chester Karrass 1996 book.

Bookmark this guide, revisit it before reviews, and remember: If your skills fuel this industry. It’s time your compensation reflects that as well.

Struggling with a specific scenario? Drop it in the comments—let’s brainstorm solutions! 👇