How To Be An Assertive Product Manager

A list of useful techniques you can apply today to become an assertive communicator who gets results and builds stronger relationships.

As product managers, we often find ourselves in situations where we need to communicate effectively with a diverse group of stakeholders. From executives to investors, and from customers to peers, our ability to convey ideas clearly and assertively can make or break our success. 

But that's easier said than done! 🤐

Video credits to: Dzianis Vasilyeu.

Being assertive isn't always easy, especially when you're dealing with strong personalities or sensitive topics.

I've been there. I have attended meetings where I knew I had valuable ideas to share, but hesitated to speak up. I've sugarcoated comments to avoid conflict, only to realize later that my message was lost in translation. And I've seen great ideas fade because I couldn't articulate their value effectively. 🍂

But assertive communication is not just a nice-to-have skill—it's essential for product managers who want to drive results and build strong, collaborative relationships.

So in today's post I'll share with you a list of handy techniques that you can start anytime! 👇

The Power of Assertive Communication

Assertive communication is about expressing your thoughts, feelings, and needs clearly and respectfully, while also considering the perspectives of others.

It's the sweet spot between passive communication (where you don't express your views at all) and aggressive communication (where you steamroll over others' opinions).

For product managers, mastering assertive communication can lead to:

• Clearer product vision: When you communicate assertively, you can articulate your product vision with confidence, ensuring that all stakeholders are aligned.

• More efficient decision-making: By clearly stating your position and the reasoning behind it, you can facilitate faster, more informed decisions.

• Stronger team relationships: Assertive communication builds trust and respect, as your team members and stakeholders appreciate your honesty and directness.

• Better conflict resolution: When conflicts arise (and they will), assertive communication helps you address issues head-on without escalating tensions.

Practice Assertiveness With These Techniques

1. Using "I" Statements Effectively

Instead of saying “You’re wrong about this feature,” try “I have a different perspective on this feature based on our user research.” This approach expresses your view without attacking others!

💡 Practice Exercise:

Take a common product management scenario, like pushing back on a feature request. Write out your response using "I" statements. For example:

Instead of: "This feature doesn't align with our roadmap."

Try: "I believe this feature, while interesting, doesn't align with our current quarter's goals because [specific reason]. I suggest we revisit it during our next roadmap planning session."

Daily Application:

- In your next three meetings, consciously use "I" statements when expressing opinions or concerns.

- Keep a tally of how often you use "I" statements versus "You" or "We" statements.

2. Being Specific and Concise

Avoid beating around the bush. State your point clearly and provide specific examples or data to support your position. 

💡 Practice Exercise:

Choose a complex product issue you're currently facing. Write a one-paragraph summary, then challenge yourself to convey the same information in three bullet points.

💡 Practice Exercise: Reporting Bad News or Delays

Draft an email reporting a significant product delay using this structure:

1. Start with the delay announcement (don't bury the lead!)

2. Explain the cause

3. Detail the impact

4. Outline the mitigation plan

5. Provide next steps

Daily Application:

- Before your next stakeholder meeting, prepare a 30-second elevator pitch for your main point.

- Set a timer for 2 minutes when explaining issues in stand-ups, forcing yourself to be concise.

- Set up a "status update" template in your notes app for quick, structured updates on project status, including any setbacks. Writing always helps!

- Practice giving a 60-second verbal summary of a project delay to a colleague, focusing on clarity and solutions.

3. Active Listening in Product Discussions

Assertive communication is a two-way street. Show that you value others’ input by actively listening and acknowledging their points before presenting your own. This builds rapport and makes others more receptive to your ideas.

💡 Practice Exercise:

In your next one-on-one meeting, use the following active listening technique:

1. Listen to your colleague's point without interrupting.

2. Summarize what you heard: "So, if I understand correctly, you're saying..."

3. Ask a clarifying question before responding with your viewpoint.

Daily Application:

- In team meetings, make it a rule to paraphrase the last speaker's point before adding your own.

- Keep a "listening journal" for a week, noting instances where you could have listened more actively. This can be helpful in realizing how often you are distracted on calls.

4. Confident Body Language (even working remotely!)

Your non-verbal cues are just as important as your words. Maintain eye contact, stand or sit up straight, and use a calm, steady tone of voice to convey confidence.

This makes a difference even when working remotely. For example, I have a standing desk and try to do some meetings standing up. It helps me to identify more quickly how I am breathing, for example, am I unconsciously holding my breath?

💡 Practice Exercise:

Record yourself giving a short product presentation. Analyze your body language, focusing on:

• Eye contact

• Posture

• Hand gestures

• Facial expressions

Daily Application:

- Set reminders on your phone to check your posture throughout the day.

- Before entering a meeting room, take a deep breath and consciously adjust your posture.

5. Saying No Respectfully

As a product manager, you’ll often need to say no to requests or ideas that don’t align with your product strategy. Be direct but respectful: “I appreciate your suggestion, but it doesn’t align with our current priorities. Here’s why…”

💡 Practice Exercise:

List five recent requests you should have declined but didn't. For each, write a respectful "no" response using this template:

"I appreciate [acknowledge their request]. However, [explain why it's not feasible]. Instead, I suggest [alternative solution or timeline]."

Daily Application:

- Commit to saying no to at least one low-priority request each week.

- After saying no, follow up with the person to ensure the relationship remains positive.

6. Preparing for Difficult Conversations

When you know you have a challenging conversation ahead, prepare in advance. Outline your main points, anticipate potential objections, and practice your delivery. This preparation will boost your confidence and help you stay focused.

💡 Practice Exercise:

Identify an upcoming challenging conversation. Use this preparation template:

1. Main point I need to convey:

2. Potential objections:

3. Data/examples to support my point:

4. Desired outcome:

5. Follow-up actions:

💡 Practice Exercise: Negotiating with Stakeholders

Role-play a negotiation scenario with a colleague. Practice using these phrases:

• "From my perspective..."

• "What if we..."

• "How about we compromise by..."

• "I understand your position. Here's another way to look at it..."

Daily Application:

- Spend 10 minutes each morning identifying potential difficult conversations for the day and briefly outlining your approach.

- Before entering a negotiation, write down your "walk away" point and ideal outcome.

- After each difficult conversation, reflect on what went well and what you could improve next time.

Overcoming Challenges

Becoming more assertive in your communication style isn't always easy. You might worry about coming across as bossy or alienating team members. Here are some tips to overcome these challenges:

1. Start small: Practice assertive communication in low-stakes situations before tackling more challenging conversations.

2. Seek feedback: Ask trusted colleagues or mentors for feedback on your communication style and areas for improvement.

3. Embrace discomfort: Remember that feeling a bit uncomfortable is normal when you're developing a new skill. Embrace it as a sign of growth!

4. Be authentic: Assertive communication should still feel like "you." Find ways to be direct and clear while maintaining your unique personality and communication style.

Wrapping Up

Being assertive is a journey, not a destination. Personally, I believe there will always be a new situation that challenges me to be a better communicator. Honestly, as an introvert, for me it is one of the most difficult skills to develop! 🫣

🪴 It takes practice, self-reflection, and a willingness to step out of your comfort zone. But the rewards—better relationships, more efficient decision-making, and increased influence—are well worth the effort.

Start by identifying one area where you can be more assertive the next week. Maybe it's speaking up in a meeting, providing clearer feedback to a team member, or having that difficult conversation you've been putting off. Take that first step, and build from there!

Remember, as leaders, our ability to communicate effectively is one of our most powerful tools. By honing your communication skills, you're not just improving your own performance—you're elevating your entire product and team.

Do you also have difficulty communicating? What has been helpful to you in this matter? Share your experiences or challenges with assertive communication in the comments below. 👇