4 Things You Should Never Say To Your Stakeholders

I will show you 4 big mistakes I have made with stakeholders in the past and examples of how you can overcome these situations with a better response.

Have you ever wondered why your relationship with stakeholders is not as strong as you would like it to be, despite your best efforts? Stakeholder management is a critical aspect of product management, yet it often presents some of the most challenging dynamics in the business world.

The conversations you have, the promises you make and the way you manage expectations can significantly influence these relationships for good or for bad.

Knowing what not to say is just as important as knowing what to say.

Navigating stakeholder interests can feel like balancing a diverse ecosystem in which each component depends on the others to survive and succeed.

In this post, I will share some mistakes I have made in the past with key stakeholders and explore strategies for finding better responses at balancing their interests.

But first let’s talk about why as humans we tend to say yes to everything 🤔

Why Do We Feel The Urge To Say YES?

When you do your research on how to do stakeholder management you will find that there is a lot of advice on what to say no to, why it is better to disagree and the misconception of the product manager as a waiter or people pleaser.

As humans, we feel the impulse to say "yes" for a variety of reasons, which may come from psychological and social factors deeply rooted in our behavior. 

1️⃣ One notable reason is the desire to avoid conflict or discomfort. Rejecting a request can lead to tension or disappointment, which people are naturally inclined to avoid.

2️⃣ Second, we have a fundamental need to belong to and be accepted in a social group, and saying "yes" often means being cooperative and sympathetic, which fosters personal connections and approval from others.

3️⃣ Third, there's also the phenomenon of "acquiescence bias" or “agreement bias." Which basically is the tendency to agree with others, especially in social situations where there is a power differential or a desire to conform.

These are the most common reasons, but depending on the individual, this list may grow. However, acknowledging these biases or tendencies helped me to change my dynamics and interactions with not just stakeholders, but everyone.

4 Things You Should Never Say To Your Stakeholders and How to Answer Better

🫡 Saying “Yes" to Everything

Stakeholder: "I think we should add a social media integration feature in the next sprint. Our competitor just released something similar."

PM: "Sure, we'll make that happen right away."

🚨 Problem: It is a common misunderstanding that agreeing to all stakeholder requests is a necessity to maintain good relationships. This is not only impractical but can also lead to prioritizing the wrong features or allocating resources inefficiently.

✅ Instead: Product managers should carefully evaluate each request's alignment with the product vision and goals before responding. If after evaluation the request still does not fit, suggest alternatives that are more in line with the roadmap.

💬 Better Response: "I understand the importance of keeping up with competitors. However, let's consider how this fits into our current roadmap and strategic goals. Our focus this sprint is on enhancing user security features, which is critical for customer trust. How about we review this request in light of our upcoming quarterly planning while assessing its impact on our current priorities?"

🧐 "I'm the expert; just trust me"

Stakeholder: "Our customers have been requesting a mobile app version of the product. Shouldn’t we prioritize that development?"

PM: "Trust me, I know about this and a mobile app isn't necessary right now."

🚨 Problem: Product managers hold detailed insights about the product and its trajectory, yet dismissing stakeholder input by emphasizing only your expertise can shut down valuable dialogue.

✅ Instead: Leverage your expertise to demonstrate stakeholders about why certain decisions are made, thereby fostering a collaborative environment based on mutual respect and understanding.

💬 Better Response: "I appreciate your focus on customer feedback. Let's review the data together—I have some research and user analytics that suggest our current users prefer the desktop experience for complex tasks. However, I'm open to exploring an approach where we might start with a mobile-responsive design and later consider a dedicated app based on further user studies."

"Don’t worry, this is outside of your concern."

Stakeholder: "I'm worried that the new time tracking feature could be too intrusive and might upset our customers."

PM: "Let's not worry about that now; it's not your main area of concern."

🚨 Problem: PMs should avoid dismissing stakeholder concerns, no matter how irrelevant they might seem. They often have broad organizational perspectives or market insights that could influence product strategies as well.

✅ Instead: Engage in discussions that provide clarity or realign focus without dismissing their viewpoints outright.

💬 Better Response: "Your perspective is very important, and customer privacy is a priority for us. The feature is designed with user control and transparency in mind. Let's set up a meeting where we can go over the privacy features and address any potential concerns before roll-out."

💔 Making Promises You Can't Keep

Stakeholder: "Can we guarantee our new product will outperform the market leader in sales within the first year?"

PM: "Absolutely, we will be number one in the market in a year."

🚨 Problem: Over-promising and under-delivering can seriously damage credibility with stakeholders. Believe this, there is nothing worse than feeling like a fraud!

✅ Instead: Ensure that you can back up commitments with realistic projections and resources. If uncertainty exists, it’s better to communicate potential risks and variable outcomes transparently

💬 Better Response: "While our goal is certainly to be a market leader, it's also important to set realistic expectations based on our market analysis and growth projections. Let's focus on our competitive advantages and how we plan to capture market share. We have strong strategies in place, but market dominance in the first year, while possible, depends on many variables.”

Finally, Do Not Please Stakeholders at All Costs

Remember, trying to please all stakeholders at all costs can really divert the product from its strategic objectives, leading to a blurred vision of the product and inefficient use of resources.

💡 Balancing stakeholder interests with core product objectives and market demands requires tactful negotiation and clear communication about what is feasible and strategic in the long term.

It’s not an easy task, yet skillfully managing these interactions ensures that decisions are data-driven and aligned with the broader business strategy, rather than being reactionary or based solely on appealing to influential voices.

Effective communication as a product manager means:

Actively listening to stakeholders, validating their input, and guiding the conversation toward mutually beneficial outcomes while avoiding promises that cannot be met or giving blanket agreements.

It's all about partnering with stakeholders to steer the product in a direction that aligns with long-term strategic goals and the company's vision, backed by data and collaborative efforts.

Do you have similar experiences with stakeholders? Let us read in the comments!